Irene SteinIrene Stein

Writing a bio at this time is very difficult as one of the major changes that I am going through is related to my identity. I was diagnosed with breast cancer this past October and am currently (as of March 31) in the middle of chemo treatments. Since October, events and consequences have slowly been chipping away at any prior conceptions I have had concerning my relationships with my body, my work, and my family and friends. If this journey through breast cancer is to become one of metamorphosis, then I am still in chrysalis stage. I have no idea who I will become at the other end.  (more...)

I am calling this my “tabula rasa” (blank slate) stage: physically, my hair is gone from all parts of my body, my breasts have been removed, my swollen face has less detail, I don’t have periods any more, and my body is reshaping from losing weight yet still exercising. In the short term I can draw on eyebrows, stuff a bra to any desired size, and dress up my head according to whim. In the long term I am looking forward to leveraging my increased attention to my body into more healthy habits and the resulting healthier body size and shape. And all my golfing friends are joining me in anticipating a much freer golf swing with my new, smaller chest size.

I have purposely taken this as the year of “extreme self-care.” I am still working a bit with my life-coaching clients, scheduling sessions strategically between my bouts with chemo. I also managed to finish off my Ph.D. dissertation before a March 1 deadline. But otherwise, I am dealing with my health almost full time. Originally, my idea was to come out of this year better than ever. That is still a goal, but I had underestimated how much time and energy was needed to arrange appointments, deal with unexpected circumstances, and to just get from day to day.

My professional identity as a student, educator, researcher and coach has melted into the background. I have had to ask for help much more than I ever had. I had been used to being quite independent, living alone with my fourteen year old dog, Teri, and two cats. I now rely on friends to help out with tasks as well as for emotional support. I like this change, though I am still getting used to asking for help when I could really gut it out if I “had” to. I am not helpless, but I am not alone—I am learning to be someone who has more intimate relations with friends and community. I anticipate that the Fun Fund events will help me continue on this part of my journey.

Irene F. Stein